05.25.06
Posted in rants, 360, friendster, hotornot, life, misscleo, myspace, online at 10:29 pm by admin
I will confess — if you’re looking to find me on the Internet, it’s not that hard. I have accounts on Friendster, MySpace, Yahoo! 360, Hot or Not (don’t scoff!) and probably even more social sites that I haven’t even thought of. My vast online presence has made me completely unafraid of posting pictures of myself, personal stories about my life, and all sorts of other identifying information. It’s so easy to hit “upload”, “send”, or “submit”, that I don’t often stop and contemplate the potential consequences. Until now.
The online threat du jour in today’s tale of horror and intrigue is MySpace. As a rabid opponent of the ugliest, most poorly designed site on the Internet, I was only forced to create an account because I wanted to view the accounts of my friends, who begged me to join. Because I fill in some non-required information (sexual orientation, for instance), I tend to get targeted by a lot of strange, unsolicited messages from complete strangers.
The most common messages that show up in my MySpace mailbox are from people with names like “HungBrandon” or “Top2Bottom” who are (or are posing as) porn stars, trying to acquire as many “friends” as possible. I usually deny those friend requests because I figure that the word “friend” should have at least a tiny bit of meaning. I don’t consider the lady who bags my groceries at Safeway a “friend”, and I’ve met her in person. Therefore, it’s silly to think that “Top2Bottom” is going to be on my friends list when he hasn’t even bagged my groceries.
Then, there is the type of message that I really loathe — the “let’s go for drinks even though I don’t know you” message from someone who I would never be even remotely attracted to. I know that this sounds snobby, and I generally feel quite bad for not replying to these strangers, but I usually don’t spend too much time thinking about it.
That all changed last week. But first, the background story. February 7, 2006, at 2:16am, I received this message on MySpace from someone I’d never seen or talked to before (personal info redacted out of respect):
Subject: your hella cute
Body: i wanted to say hello to you
CXXXX
408 417 XXXX
Although poor grammar is a deal-breaker for me, and I don’t much appreciate people thinking it’s okay to give me their phone number without even chatting with me first, I looked at his profile and decided to simply ignore the message. While I won’t go into to many details, his profile spends quite a bit of time (and poor spelling, and excessive amounts of bandwidth dedicated to pictures and movies of models, Frappucinos, and Pepperidge Farm Goldfish) explaining how he’s the “fun one” in his group, and how he makes “people show off their true humor in one self”. Uggh. So I didn’t reply. Yet, it didn’t end:
Date: March 14, 2006 8:06pm
Subject: hey cutie
Body: your hella cute and we should talk some more and hang out sometime
CXXXX
408 417 XXXX
Beyond the use of “hella”, can you guess what else is wrong with this picture? We should “talk some more”? We haven’t talked yet. AT ALL. Nor will we. EVER. Again, I ignored this unwanted solicitation. Yet still, he persists:
Date: April 19, 2006 3:27pm
Subject: hey steven
Body: i thought i say since i see you on myspace alot and never get around to saying hello, you are very handsome and if you want i wouldn’t mind talking to you a little more.
CXXXX
A much better attempt, with the use of the word “handsome”, but there’s no way I’m biting. You “never get around to saying hello”? You’ve already emailed me twice, and I’ve ignored you! And again, if we’ve never talked before, you can’t say we should talk “more”.
Although the saga of unwanted MySpace messages ends there, last week something substantially worse happened. I was out in the small park near my apartment walking Miss Cleo, my new chihuahua (who I owe a dedicated blog post, to come later). I had my earbuds in, and I was listening to one of my usual morning podcasts, when a total stranger approaches and starts staring at me and my dog.
After an awkward moment or two of this staring, I took my earbuds out.
The stranger asked, “Is your name Steven?”
“Yes,” I replied. “Do I know you?”
“No,” he said, “But I’ve seen you on MySpace.”
Then I recognized him. It was the unsolicited emailer. Standing there, approaching me randomly, in the park. Because I’m not rude, I tried to make brief small talk, and then I turned away to continue monitoring Miss Cleo to verify that she was doing her business. He just kept standing there, silent, for 30 seconds, staring at me.
Finally, he left. I reflected on this bizarre encounter for a few moments, and the more I thought about it, the more it irked and angered me. In the world of meeting people online, there is an unwritten rule that if you see someone from online who you recognize, and you’re not on familiar or friendly terms, you don’t approach them to meet them for the first time. It’s common courtesy. You don’t ever put someone on the spot like that. Especially someone who clearly has no intention of ever meeting you.
I’ve seen people from online before and I’ve chosen not to approach them because it’s wrong. Yet this socially handicapped crazy person felt that it was okay to approach me by myself in the park. I guess I’ll give him credit for having guts. But that’s where the credit ends and the fury begins.
I suppose I’ve learned a very important meta-lesson. However unrecognizable you think you are, there’s always the possibility that the wrong person from the Internet may see you and strike without warning. Then, the only thing you can do is think of some way to get out of it. Next time, I think I will just lie down on the ground and play dead until the attacker goes away. After all, it works on bears.
Maybe FOX will create a new special called When MySpace Freaks Attack. I’d be more than happy to participate in a reenactment of my brush with danger.
Tags: 360, friendster, hotornot, life, misscleo, myspace, online, rants
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05.01.06
Posted in music, rants, coachella at 1:16 am by admin
Sitting on the floor reading Scientific American in the dance tent should not be allowed.
Tags: coachella, rants
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03.22.06
Posted in rants, life, celebrity, fame, guilt, katie holmes, mission impossible 3, movies, nbc11, p51 mustang, scientology, south park, terry semel, tom cruise, yahoo at 9:37 pm by admin
As a Yahoo! employee, I feel almost obligated to blog about the experience of having Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes here at the campus yesterday. All of my comments are purely my own opinion, and obviously don’t reflect the opinions of Yahoo!, any of my fellow Yahoos, or the Church of Scientology.
First, let me ‘fess up to something. I’m a total celebriwhore. If you don’t know what this word means, let me try to sum it up. A celebriwhore is someone who is interested in seeing a person solely for the sake of their fame. In terms of a celebrity like Tom Cruise, I can understand why someone might want to see him because he’s a good actor.
The truth is, I think I’ve only seen one of his movies in its entirety, War of the Worlds, and I really didn’t think it was even that good. No, I have not seen Top Gun. I walked out of Eyes Wide Shut. I don’t really understand why he wants the truth and Jack Nicholson tells him he can’t handle it. I don’t even know what movie that is.
That certainly didn’t stop me from going to sneak a peek at the circus.
Armed with my digital camera and telephoto lens, I got into the line that was stretching around the campus outside of our cafeteria, URL’s, and waited for about 30 minutes to get my spot in a very limited seating space. Little did I know that we would be waiting much longer.
My co-worker Jenny and I took our seats in the cafeteria, which was completely full of people. We were seated conveniently behind a giant gray pole that was directly blocking the stage, so some shifting would be necessary to actually be able to directly see the presentation without having to watch the giant projection screen.
While I snapped test photos to figure out the correct exposure settings for my camera, this endless loop of song clips played, cleverly featuring songs taken from Cruise’s movies. I would have to say that after hearing 30 seconds of Take My Breath Away no less than 72 times, I was a bit worn out. The presentation was supposed to start at 10:30. As 10:45 arrived, and then 11:00, something wasn’t right.
This perky lady (who was either one of Tom’s people or a Yahoo! person — I’m not sure) came out and said something to the effect of, “I know, I’m not Tom Cruise. [laughing to herself] Tom is *SO* cool that he flew his own small plane here, and he’s delayed by the weather! But he should be here shortly!”
At that point, a large crowd of people decided to walk out. After more waiting, our CEO Terry Semel came out to nervously explain the situation and keep us amused while we waited. We watched a dramatic 9-minute montage of Tom’s movies that was supposed to be what was playing when he made his entrance, and Mr. Semel continued to get messages in his earpiece about Tom’s status and whereabouts.
Everyone was excited when Tom finally arrived, in aviator glasses and all. Rather than trying to remember the event enough to give a play-by-play, let me share a few of the highlights:
- Tom flew a P51 Mustang WWII-era bomber plane into San Jose airport.
- He brought Katie Holmes with him. She is at least 13 months pregnant and looked like she was ready to burst. Had Tom flown commercially with her, he would have arrived on time.
- There was no mention of Scientology or South Park.
- Even in his women’s jeans, Tom did not set off my gaydar in the slightest.
- He jokingly stood on top of his chair to make fun of the controversy over his behavior on Oprah.
- He arm-wrestled Terry Semel in response to a (pre-submitted) question about which of them is more athletic.
- He presented the trailer for Mission Impossible 3, and two clips from the movie.
- After the event, Tom and Katie were escorted on a tour of the Yahoo! campus. They stayed on campus for several hours, actually.
NBC11 in San Francisco decided to use some of the photos I took during the event. You can see their write-up on the story, complete with my photos, here.
The only word I can use to describe how I felt after the event is: filthy.
Honestly, I couldn’t wash the stink off. It wasn’t because of anything Tom said or did. I felt slimy for taking pictures of the guy just because he’s a celebrity. I think I’ve discovered why I can’t live in L.A. When the entire thing was over, I felt incredibly drained. Tom was very polite, and seemed like a good guy overall, but the fuss that was made over his visit made me a little sick to my stomach. I guess the concept of “celebrity” is just so deeply burned into our collective American conscience that there’s not escaping the excitement of it.
Perhaps I learned an important lesson about the utter absurdity of fame: That several hundred very smart people could be turned into drooling zombies over the prospect of seeing a celebrity talk about his career.
You can see the original versions of the photos I took here, and photos taken by other Yahoos here.
UPDATE: Thanks to one of my favorite blogs, Defamer, for linking to my photo! [Link: Tom Cruise Goes Yahoo]
Tags: celebrity, fame, guilt, katie holmes, life, mission impossible 3, movies, nbc11, p51 mustang, scientology, south park, terry semel, tom cruise, yahoo
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03.14.06
Posted in rants, rant, quickies, people, rudeness at 7:59 pm by admin
If you’re standing with your “posse” in front of the doors that allow people to enter and exit the building, and you don’t move when people try to pass through –
If you’re standing in the stairwell gossiping with a co-worker, blocking people from going up and down the stairs –
If you stand in front of both microwaves while cooking your leftovers, completely unphased by the radiation, making it difficult for someone to get by you who is clearly waiting to heat his or her lunch in the unused microwave in front of you –
Then you, my friend, are a human obstacle. Get the hell out of the way so that people can move back and forth in these areas that are clearly designated for moving.
Oh, and try not to act so surprised and offended when people are walking through your group and pushing around you to get to where they need to be.
Tags: people, rant, rants, rudeness
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Posted in rants, yahoo, rant, people, rudeness, food, dirty, gluttony, gross, nasty, onion rings, stealing, theft, unsanitary, urls at 1:29 am by admin
Today, I bring you a tale of horror from URL’s, the Yahoo! cafeteria.
Since I am attempting to eat more healthy things throughout the day, I decided to treat myself to an overpriced $3.25 chopped chicken breast at the grill at URL’s.
Mind you, it wasn’t exactly lunchtime, as it was 2:25, and the cafeteria was on the verge of closing. Because of this, the chef working at the grill was taking every spare moment he possibly could to clean up his workspace and take things to the back when necessary.
There was only one other person in front of me in line — we’ll call him “Tom” — who was waiting for the chef to finish cooking a chicken breast for him as well. Tom was standing there waiting patiently for his chicken to finish cooking, and while he was waiting, the chef had to step away for a minute.
And that’s when it happened.
Just after the chef was out of sight, Tom shamelessly reached his grubby little hand right into the onion ring vat under the sneeze guard, and grabbed an onion ring and ate it! I was absolutely stunned, and Tom didn’t even notice that anyone had seen him, nor did he bother to look around to make certain that his crime had not been witnessed.
There are people like Tom all over the place. There’s the lady who grabs a handful of cashews and eats them from the giant self-serve container at the grocery store. There’s the guy who takes a piece of candy from the self-serve candy and eats it like it’s his for the taking. There’s the woman who picks things out of the salad bar and eats them while she’s making her salad, all the while knowing that the clerk can’t charge her for salad that’s already in her stomach.
I’m still shocked that he had the nerve to do this right in front of me, for two very succinct reasons:
- It’s nasty and unsanitary. Why should anyone else get onion rings that his fingers may have touched?
- It’s STEALING.
I was too aghast to say anything to “Tom” and so I just let him walk away with his chopped chicken breast, like nothing had happened. The only thing that gave me the tiniest bit of satisfaction was knowing that I’m not so enchanted by fried foods that I can’t resist grabbing them when they don’t belong to me, like a dog or cat jumping onto the table to snatch a bite from your dinnerplate when you step away for a moment.
I, sir, am not an animal.
Tags: dirty, food, gluttony, gross, nasty, onion rings, people, rant, rudeness, stealing, theft, unsanitary, urls, yahoo, yahoo!
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02.27.06
Posted in rants, iPod, introspective, earbuds, ears, gym, shure at 8:30 pm by admin
Although I absolutely adore my Shure E3c earbuds, I had a bit of a tragedy with them last Thursday after working out at the company gym. I accidentally closed one of the buds in the locker door when I went to take my shower, and didn’t realize until I returned. I reassembled the earbud, thinking everything was fine, so I placed it back into my ear so that I could finish listening to the Feast of Fools podcast, like I do each and every evening.
When I returned to my desk, a co-worker approached me and started talking to me. Out of politeness, I went to remove the earbud from my ear, and it was stuck deep in my ear canal. Not the foam cover, but the entire plastic tip of the earbud itself. This, in fact, had already happened to me once before when I was working at Tommy Hilfiger in New York City. The rubber tip of these same earbuds had come out in my ear, and I was terrified that I would have to go to the emergency room to have it removed. Thankfully, the first aid kit had a pair of plastic emergency tweezers, which saved the day. Today at Yahoo!, no such luck. Not only do I not know where the first aid kit is, but I really didn’t feel like traipsing around building B to find it.
Seeing that I was struggling, the aforementioned co-worker simply walked away. I proceeded to try to pry them out wiith a pair of scissors, which in retrospect was not the smartest idea. Only later was my mind filled with images of falling on said scissors and having them penetrate my brain. Later I realized that I could have been like Phineas Gage, who had his frontal lobe pierced by a railroad spike in the 1800s, lived to tell about it, and was never quite the same. He went from being a nice, socially capable guy, to being an irritable jerk. I wonder if having scissors going through my head would have improved my personality.
Anyway, I cut the inside of my ear, and after it was clear that the scissors wouldn’t be of much help, I decided that I should try to dislodge the earbud a different way: using the handle of a plastic spoon. After about 10 minutes of fighting it, I finally got the bloody earbud piece out of my ear, letting out a huge sigh of relief.
The next day, I resassembled my earbuds using Krazy Glue, and as far as I can tell, they are as good as new, although my psychological state may be a little damaged from the experience.
Tags: earbuds, ears, gym, iPod, rants, shure
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02.01.06
Posted in rants, politics, bush, miscellaneous stuff, abramoff, congress, democrats, george bush, george w bush, hillary clinton, jack abramoff, republicans, satire, state of the union at 4:05 am by admin
9:10 - Old man introduces the President. Wow, fancy seeing *him* here! Georgy shakes hands with tons of people who aren’t afraid to touch him (they must not be trying to get re-elected this year).
9:11 - Bush still walking down the aisle. He kisses a large black lady — could this be his Monica? Perhaps she gave him the tie he’s wearing? Where’s Linda Tripp when you need her?
9:12 - Cut to Laura clapping for him. She’s so stone-faced, she makes Hillary look friendly. Bush shakes hands with the various people on the front row who paid for VIP tickets. Are those the sounds of booing? Have I lost my mind, or is this just wishful thinking?
9:13 - Don’t forget Dick Cheney (aka the Emperor) clapping behind the podium.
9:14 - Bush is officially announced. Even John Kerry is clapping and smiling! … Bush opens the speech with a religious reference to Coretta Scott King reunited with her dead husband in Heaven. Praise Jesus!
9:15 - Need to check the definition of “rostrum“. “It’s been my honor to serve you.” Great! Now it’s time to resign!
9:16 - Bush says not to be angry, and that we should all get along. That’s a funny one, George. Tell another!
9:17 - At this point, isolationism actually *does* sound awfully inviting. Do we get to have a vote on that?
9:18 - The first 9/11 reference of the night. How many more do we have to look forward to? Ooh! “Weapons of mass destruction”! This is sounding familiar.
9:22 - Blah blah blah. Stay the course. Blah blah blah. Hate our freedom. Blah blah blah. Can’t retreat. Won’t retreat. Never surrender. Corey Hart would be proud.
9:23 - Oh my God! He just did that jaw thing that coke addicts do! I had heard about it but never seen it in person! Laura is totally zoning out.
9:25 - Bush says criticism is fine, as long as it’s not “defeatist”. In other words, if you disagree with him, it’s a problem.
9:27 - “Wow, I sure do like it when they clap for me!”
9:29 - Everyone clap for the conveniently placed dead soldier’s family. The applause won’t bring back your child who died for a war based on a series of lies, but this is nice.
9:30 - “Let us never forget the sacrifices of America’s military families.” Like Cindy Sheehan, who your cronies had arrested prior to the State of the Union?
9:31 - Mentioning that Hamas got elected in Palestine might not be the best argument for democracy worldwide, Mr. President. Just because people can vote doesn’t mean that they will vote in their own interests. The 2004 election in the U.S. was a great example of this sad truth.
9:32 - “Iran … must come to an end!” He said “nuke-u-lar” twice! People playing the State of the Union Drinking Game must be totally plastered by now. Speaking directly to the people of Iran, Bush says “won’t you be our friends?” I’m guessing that tons of Iranians are watching this speech right now. Bush *has* to be at *least* as popular as Desperate Housewives in Iran.
9:35 - “Terrorism here at home”. Is this where we start talking about illegal wiretapping? Does it even get a mention tonight? The jaw thing AGAIN!
9:36 - 9/11 mentioned again. Two of the hijackers placed overseas phone calls. I see where this is going. Here we go… “Terror surveillance program”… HAH! Here go the talking points… Congress was informed, past presidents have done it. “If there are people in our country talkin’ to Al Qaeda, we wanna know about it!” Do you think that’s exactly how his speechwriter put it? Hillary thinks that’s REALLY funny.
9:39 - “Freedom is on the march!” We haven’t heard that in a long time. Bush mentions “presidents of both parties”. That surprises me. Is he acknowledging that a president might be elected from another party? Hillary seems less amused, but that Jolly Rancher she’s sucking on sure seems tasty.
9:40 - “Seeing some old Temptations return…” Ladies and gentleman, all the way from Motown, the Temptations! No one told us that there would be special celebrity guests!
9:42 - Obvious lie #1! He says the tax cuts have put money into the hands of working families. That’s a funny story, since the tax cuts were for the top 1%. Now he wants the tax cuts permanent! And the Democratic side of the aisle stays seated.
9:43 - More than 143 programs are being eliminated. I hope one of them is Hannity & Colmes. We’re cutting the deficit in half by 2009. Pass the line item veto!
9:46 - “Congress did not act on my plan to reform Social Security.” Every Democrat stood up and cheered! HAH! Finally he says something the Democrats can appreciate. The jaw thing again!
9:48 - Screw the scandals in government. As long as we can keep the Mexicans out, everything will be fine!
9:49 - Apparently electronic record-keeping and investment accounts are the solution to expensive health care. Gee, I wonder who’s going to get those contracts? Does Diebold do that? How about Halliburton? Also, we need medical liability reform so those ob-gyns can practice their love on women.
9:50 - “Hello, my name is America, and I’m an oilaholic.” Yet another “nuke-u-lar” mention, but this time in regard to energy. Very surprising to hear Bush talking about alternative fuel sources. I’m guessing he has his fingers crossed behind his back. Or he’s about to yell “psych!”
9:52 - “…Make our dependence on Middle Eastern oil a thing of the past!” As soon as we can find a way for Halliburton to make lots of money off of it.
9:54 - Ah, good old No Child Left Behind. We’ve made a ton of progress with that! Just ask teachers that are sick of teaching to standardized tests because they’re terrified of losing funding.
9:57 - Unethical conduct gets a brief mention. Wow, that was impressive. Awww, ovation for crazy Alito. That’s neato.
10:00 - Now we talk about ethical reforms. Bush supports those reforms. That’s great. I wasn’t sure which side of the ethics issue he was going to fall on.
10:01 - Laura stands for her own standing ovation! Another wacky Bush jaw movement.
10:02 - Zoom in on Senator Mary Landrieu. It’s sad that I recognize her. But it was really nice when Anderson Cooper yelled at her about rats eating a dead body in the street. That’s why I remember her. Because she’s such a useless piece of politically driven trash.
10:06 - Thank God it’s finally over. Now it’s time for Bushy to exit. He yells something to someone who gives him a thumbs up. I think I lip-read him yelling, “Sure, I’d love some illegal campaign contributions! Give me a call on the red phone!”
10:08 - Mary Landrieu kissing Bush’s ass! Awww, what a perdy little Republican in Democrat’s clothing she is. Bush doesn’t have much time for this. He has more autographs (or Executive Orders, perhaps?) to sign. Note to self - check eBay tomorrow for autographs.
10:10 - Some woman… “Mr. President, I loved the part about alternative energy!” - “I knew you would!” he replies. I guess that’s Abramoff’s replacement at the firm, thanking him for the favor.
For some actual facts about the things Bush said tonight (instead of my snarky, mostly useless blathering), go here: Think Progress responds to State of the Union fact-by-fact
Tags: abramoff, bush, congress, democrats, george bush, george w bush, hillary clinton, jack abramoff, politics, rants, republicans, satire, state of the union
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01.31.06
Posted in rants, gmail, spam, web, around the web, email, google at 7:12 pm by admin
Am I the only one who is incredibly disturbed by the fact that Google’s new “Web Clips” feature in Gmail is enabled while I’m browsing my spam folder? As tasty as “Spam Fajitas” and “Spam Primavera” sound, I don’t think that there is much logic in publicizing these recipes next to unwanted emails peddling Viagra and penis enlargement pills. Just an observation.
Tags: email, gmail, google, rants, spam, web
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01.26.06
Posted in rants, life, miscellaneous stuff, blogs, california, eastcoast, groceryshopping, mark, mentalhealth, newjersey, newyork, petpeeves, westcoast at 9:30 pm by admin
Wow. Mark just published what I hope will be the first of many amusing blog posts. When I read his first entry it had a familiar feel to me, but not because it was written by Mark. Instead, it made me recall a time when I was a bit more insane and prone to ranting:
“…I am constantly trying to make my way past people pushing their grocery carts at negative speeds down aisles and around corners, the same people stopping all over the place at pure random to read their coupons or examine the chewing gum stuck to their wheel or decide which brand of mix-it-yourself fiber drink will best help them to reestablish their pooping habits.”
Wow. Things like that were one of the reasons that I started this blog to begin with. Some of my co-workers at Tommy Hilfiger in New York City thought that my rants were amusing, and that I should write or podcast them down. The reality is that I fear I may have lost my edge. I’m not as easily irritated anymore, and while that’s obviously better for the people around me, it might very well be the death of one of my more “interesting” qualities.
There was a time when I thought that everybody in line at the grocery store was placed in my way by an act of God (or “Jebus”, as Mark so eloquently describes our Lord and Savior) solely for the purpose of annoying the hell out of me and making me late for work. Now, those things just don’t seem to get under my skin nearly as much. I go into the grocery store with my iPod earbuds in my ears, and while people are knocking down all the Lean Cuisine flavors and mixing them up, or blocking the aisles with their carts, I’m in my own little world enjoying the soothing sounds of the Theivery Corporation.
Maybe it’s true what they say. Maybe Northern California really does soften a person. Coming from the wild madhouse that is the New York / New Jersey area, the pace of life here is a lot different. For someone like me who is a bit crazy (and thus medicated) this may be a good bubble to live in. The question is, can I continue to produce gems like my rant about attending a concert in New York if I’m simply not affected by life’s petty annoyances anymore?
Keep reading and find out. 
Link: Newsflash (Mark Paretti’s blog)
Note: I do not present Mark’s rant here for the purpose of making him seem insane. I attribute it to the East Coast way of life. Mark also drew a very important distinction between him and myself in an IM conversation earlier (as we discussed the annoying woman he encountered in the parking lot who couldn’t back her vehicle out properly):
(1:09:15 PM) Mark: well, the difference is, you’d tend to freak out a bit more. It all annoyed me…but I sat there patiently waiting for her to back out, etc…in my head I was just thinking how incredibly annoying her existence was to me
Tags: blogs, california, eastcoast, groceryshopping, life, mark, mentalhealth, newjersey, newyork, petpeeves, rants, westcoast
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10.24.05
Posted in rants at 9:18 pm by admin
What started purely as a whim that I was toying with has become something far more interesting to me. When I decided to get my cartilage pierced, I began to think about how people perceive others — especially those who choose to alter their appearances in extreme ways for whatever reason.
For instance, there’s this girl at work who I don’t know, but she has blue hair. If you mention her to anyone they will know who you’re talking about, but no one I’ve talked to yet actually knows her personally, but because of this very distinguishing feature, almost anyone I talk to will know who I’m talking about.
I’ve always toyed with the idea of dying my hair blue just for fun, but I’ve never had the guts to do it, primarily because I haven’t worked anywhere where doing that would be acceptable. Now that I’m at Yahoo! and the work environment is far more casual and embracing, I finally feel that being slightly stranger than I already am is not outside of the social norm.
Hence, I have decided to launch my very first social experiment. This morning I came into work with my hair completely bleached, except for lovely bright blue highlighted spikes. I’m trying to find out a few very important things from this experiment:
* * *
1. Will people treat me differently? For instance, will I be less likely to be approached by a helpful salesperson in a retail store?
2. Will the people who constantly ask me for the time, directions, etc., stop doing so because I look more than slightly bizarre?
3. How will a person like myself who takes Paxil to treat social anxiety react to the unsoliciticed attention that abnormal physical traits can tend to attract?
* * *
Here are the three simple rules that I’m following:
1. No mentioning the blue hair to someone unless they mention it first. I’m trying to gauge reactions, and whether someone who knows me has the nerve to comment on it is a big indicator of how uncomfortable it makes them.
2. I will make a conscious effort to act no differently than usual. Because I can’t see the freaky blue spikes on top of my head, there is no reason for me to act any differently.
3. No cutting the blue off completely for at least 6 weeks.
* * *
So far, I’ve gotten a few strange glances from people I know who smile nervously and say hello, neglecting to mention the Smurfish transformation I’ve undergone. I haven’t got much to report yet, but it should be interesting to see if changing my hair to blue is really going to affect my life in any philosophical way.
I suspect that it might just make people think I’m weird. I suppose I am.
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