02.15.06
What is love? (Baby don’t hurt me… no more)
It’s Valentine’s Day. Even when I was in a long-term relationship I didn’t really do much to celebrate this day, because my ex and I always felt like it was an overly commercialized holiday. Besides, to me, the elements that really make up abstract concepts like “love” are far more complex and rooted in the things that happen every single day in my life.
To me, love is…
- Spending the entire day cleaning up the vomit that your partner conveniently left in the bathtub while throwing up drunk the night before, all while nursing his hangover between plunging and Drain-O sessions
- Knowing when something isn’t right before he says it and being a source of comfort even when it’s not requested
- Sitting next to him all day as he is pumped full of electrolytes at the hospital to rehydrate him after a bad bout of food poisoning
- Learning to appreciate even his quirkiest, least desirable features, simply because they make up part of a larger whole that wouldn’t be complete without them
- Considering how every decision you make in your life will affect him
- Staying with him the entire day at the airport when he misses his flight, just so that he won’t have to wait for the next flight alone
Candy hearts and flowers are all fine, I suppose. But love isn’t necessarily as easy to define as a Hallmark card. It isn’t always pretty, it’s rarely shiny, and it certainly doesn’t always taste or smell good.
Love is a measure of what level of discomfort you’re willing to put yourself through for the sake of someone whom you care about so much that it hurts.
As my own little tribute to that intensity, my recurring Music Tuesday series features a track by former Toad the Wet Sprocket frontman Glen Phillips. The track is called Easier (mp3), and I think it really conveys the almost physical pain and desperation that love can cause:
And if you said you were going away
I would run on the tarmac and I would lay down in front of the plane just to get you to stay
The track is from Glen’s amazing 2005 album Winter Pays For Summer, available through iTunes (link: 
). The album has lots of other really thoughtful and well-written songs, and includes guest backing vocals on Courage from my favorite piano-wielding genius, Ben Folds. Do me a favor — if you like the tracks I feature, please consider buying the album on iTunes (or clicking an AdSense link!). The tiny affiliate checks just might pay for the hosting. 
And that could be one more definition of love — caring about someone enough to finance his web hosting.
Err… maybe not.
Tags: ben folds, Glen Phillips, hangover, iTunes, love, mp3, music, music tuesday, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Valentine’s Day