11.28.03
Posted in miscellaneous stuff at 5:12 pm by admin
i’m finally home in houston.
this morning i woke up with the intention of being able to spend more time with mark, but i had so much packing and other miscellaneous stuff to do that i didn’t really have time. i felt bad about that because i’m superstitious, and if anything happened to me while traveling, i would want mark to have had that time with me.
when i arrived at the airport and i was going through the skycap routine, there was a lady and her husband and 16 children in a small beat-up chevy nova-ish car that pulled up with a massive amount of luggage — all massively large bags. the skycap yelled to her that she would have to check those bags inside. so she has the window down and she goes to yell at her children “hold the god damn baby so i can get out of the god damn fucking car!” and she gets out and proceeds to yell that she has checked these bags outside many times in the past. i’m glad i was just about done checking my one small bag and didn’t have to stay for the festivities.
after i finally made it to my gate all the way across the airport i was thrilled to see that barely anyone was there. when it was time for them to board my row (31) practically no one else was in line, so i figured i was in luck. thanksgiving is not generally known for being a particularly busy travel day. it seemed odd to me that a 767 would be flying without a full passenger list, but who was i to argue? so i get to me seat (seat K, which is one of the ones on the right side of the plane that is situated in sets of two) and right after a guy comes to sit next to me. the plane was pretty much empty so we joked about being packed in like sardines and i assured him that i would move as soon as we got ready to pull away from the gate so that we both could have our space.
little did i know.
about five minutes before we’re scheduled to take off, what must have amounted to eighty people decided to wander onto the plane. i have never in my entire life gotten on a plane with such a small amount of time left. and as each person filed onto the plane i looked at the seat that i planned to sit in and prayed over and over again that the person coming down the aisle would not sit in that seat. and then finally, my luck ran out.
a woman who looked a lot like tangina from poltergeist, but much larger in size, sat down in the seat across the aisle with what appeared to be her son. this woman looked like a psychic, and she had a giant purple mu-mu type of gown on with slippers and long jangling jewelry of all sorts, including a necklace and charm bracelets, and long black ornately decorated fingernails. she also had the sort of cheek-fat that hung down completely over her neck.
then, in front of me sat this ratty looking woman who was arguing over which seat was hers (she ended up being wrong) but what stood out about her was that she smelled like ass. or crotch.
and then the person in front of me decided to recline all the way back, making it nearly impossible for me to get work done on my laptop. i hate it when people do that. i realize that they have the right to recline, but i would never do that because space is so incredibly limited as it is.
and then there was the turbulence. overall, it was a crappy flight.
so then i arrived home. everything was almost as i remember it, except my parents have rearranged the living room furniture completely. dinner was just about ready when i got home, and we had an overall enjoyable meal, after which we watched finding nemo.
i decided to go out back and sit in the hot tub for awhile, and i hooked up my iPod to the outside speakers so i could have a little music. what was strange was that it only seemed to be able to play music (on shuffle) that was out when i was in high school. it’s really weird coming home, and it’s hard for anyone to understand that doesn’t live very far from there. where i live now is a completely different world from here, with completely different rules. as i was sitting outside in my robe tonight in the mildly cold air, looking up at orion’s belt, i realized that in a way it’s a little sad that i’m not here, closer to a lot of the people that are important to me. i was telling mark earlier that i think i want to be buried down here.
i’m really excited that i’m going to be seeing and possibly kayla tomorrow because i need a good dose of friendship at least a few times a year. don’t get me wrong — i have some great friends in new jersey, all of which i know through mark, but it’s different when i’m home because these people weren’t and aren’t friends with me through my boyfriend or anyone else — they’re people that know me, love me, and put up with my shit because they like me — not because of who i’m in a relationship with.
anyway, i’ve written a long entry so now you should be happy. i need to go to sleep. i have a big day tomorrow. 
No Tags
Permalink
11.22.03
Posted in miscellaneous stuff at 3:30 am by admin
the funeral for mark’s uncle was absolutely amazing. being the first funeral that i have ever gone to, it was an incredible experience to see something so grandiose. because mark’s uncle was the paramus police chief for so many years, this was a full funeral with police escorts and the honor guard and the flag-draped casket — the full military-style sendoff. there was a gun-salute, and the most interesting (and spooky) thing was that during the service at the cemetary there was one lone hawk flying in circles above the grave site, and there were no other birds or clouds in the sky.
No Tags
Permalink
11.19.03
Posted in miscellaneous stuff at 1:59 pm by admin
Celebrated ex-cop Joseph Delaney dies
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
By BRIAN ABERBACK
STAFF WRITER
Joseph Delaney, a colorful North Jersey lawman who was never at a loss for words and gained national attention when he told a Soviet diplomat to go “pound salt” after being asked to apologize for the arrest of the official’s wife, died Monday. He was 69.
During a 45-year career in law enforcement, Delaney infiltrated the mob, headed Bergen County’s drug and organized crime task forces, and served as Paramus police chief and Ramsey police director.
Known for his tough but caring demeanor, lively quotes, and devotion to his men and his job, Delaney retired from police work in 2002, the same year that he revealed he was battling cancer of the esophagus. He died of complications related to the cancer. Delaney had lived in New Milford with his wife, Carol, for 38 years.
“He was a tremendous force throughout the state and county,” said former Paramus Mayor Cliff Gennarelli, who worked with Delaney for 10 years. He remembered Delaney as a man others turned to in times of trouble. “He was the rock and a foundation you could always lean on,” Gennarelli said.
Delaney was propelled into the national spotlight in late 1982 after Paramus police arrested the wife of a Soviet diplomat on charges of shoplifting a pair of $4.25 children’s tights from a Route 17 coat store. She was released because of diplomatic immunity, but when her husband demanded an apology, Delaney, then the chief, refused. He won fans around the country for standing up to the diplomat at a time when Cold War tensions were running high.
Delaney was interviewed on CBS’ “60 Minutes” after the incident and received calls from newspapers and magazines nationwide, said retired Paramus Police Chief Michael McCormack, who was Delaney’s deputy chief at the time.
“This is America the free, but some things you have to pay for,” Delaney told the diplomat. The official persisted and Delaney told him to “pound salt.”
“No pun intended, but I saw red when that guy walked in here and wanted us to apologize,” Delaney said at the time. “I told him it was going to be a hot day in Siberia when this department apologizes for doing its duty.”
The quotes were typical Delaney.
“I admired him because he never pulled any punches,” said Michael Mordaga, chief of detectives in the Bergen County Prosecutor’s Office, who had known Delaney for more than two decades. “If something had to be said, he wouldn’t hesitate to say it.”
Delaney was named the first head of the Bergen County Narcotics Task Force in the mid-Seventies. Shortly afterward, he infiltrated a loan-sharking ring with ties to the Gambino and Genovese crime families by posing as a crooked cop. The 11-month operation netted 26 convictions and Delaney was awarded a Medal of Honor by the Bergen County Chiefs of Police Association.
The operation almost turned disastrous while Delaney was in the Elmwood Park home of a reputed mob hit man. Delaney was wearing a microphone under his shirt, and the recording equipment caused the mobster’s television reception to turn to static.
“Joe was very nervous,” said retired state police Lt. Fred Martens, who worked with Delaney. “He was afraid he would get patted down. But Joe was able to talk his way out of it.”
Delaney could be impatient with government bureaucracy. Tired of waiting for the state Department of Transportation to fix dangerous road conditions on Route 17 in the early Eighties, Delaney went over Trenton’s head by installing signs warning motorists of the hazardous conditions. He also unilaterally reduced the speed limit from 50 mph to 35 mph on a stretch of the highway. Two days later, the state approved his actions.
Delaney, who grew up in Manhattan and Paramus, began his law enforcement career as a Paramus patrolman in 1957, and spent 36 years on the force there, serving as chief from 1981-93. He also served in the Army Honor Guard during the Korean War.
Shortly after retiring from Paramus, he was hired by Ramsey to help restore morale in a department that had been split by scandal and instability.
His professionalism helped bring the department together, Ramsey officials said. But Delaney wasn’t immune to the type of controversy he was brought in to clean up.
In 2001, the Ramsey Borough Council docked Delaney the equivalent of $32,000 in vacation and sick time for receiving wire-transfer loans from a subordinate while gambling in Atlantic City. On two of four occasions, the officer was on duty while making the loans, which totaled $9,000.
Even in an embarrassing situation, Delaney still had witty words for the media. After his punishment was levied, Delaney, speaking about the dangers of gambling, said: “The only things that pay off [in Atlantic City] are the ATMs.”
In addition to his wife, Delaney is survived by two sons, Keith and Kevin; a daughter, Karen, and three grandchildren.
“He was a man so much larger than life,” said Delaney’s son, Keith, a detective in the Bergen County Prosecutor’s Office. “Law enforcement and serving the people of this county meant so much to him. He felt it was very important to serve with a purpose. He did his job with pride and he did it with honor.”
Delaney’s son Kevin also followed in his footsteps, and serves as a Paramus police detective. Delaney’s brother, Thomas, is a retired Paramus police captain.
Visiting hours are scheduled for 7 to 9 p.m. Wednesday and 2 to 4 and 7 to 9 p.m. Thursday at Vander Plaat Memorial Home, 113 Fairview Ave., Paramus. A funeral service will be held at 10 a.m. Friday at the funeral home, with burial to follow at George Washington Memorial Park, Paramus Road, Paramus.
Staff Writer Raghuram Vadarevu contributed to this article.
No Tags
Permalink
Posted in miscellaneous stuff at 12:54 am by admin
so the plans for mark’s uncle’s funeral activities have been planned.
he was a big, important police chief in paramus which means that a lot of people will be coming to see him, so there will be two vieweings tomorrow, two on thursday, and a funeral on friday morning. the first viewing on wednesday will be open-casket and for very close immediate family only. joe was a really strong, masculine man and wouldn’t want people to see him as weak as he was in his final days.
i’m attending the viewing on thursday night and the funeral on friday morning. i’ve never been to a wake OR a funeral, and i’m extremely scared, because it’s a completely new situation for me. the only thing i know of funerals are the ones i’ve see on six feet under and days of our lives. i have lots to do. i need to go buy something appropriate to wear, along with new shoes. mark’s life has been filled with a lot of death, so he’s really used to this stuff. it’s all very new to me, so it should be an interesting experience. since joe was a police chief and an army officer, he will be receiving an honor guard funeral, so my first funeral will be an extreme one.
on a separate note, i’m going to tower records in nyc today to see cyndi lauper perform and get my copy of her new cd signed! hopefully i will be able to get my picture taken with her too! if i do get a picture i will be sure to post it.
No Tags
Permalink
11.18.03
Posted in miscellaneous stuff at 8:09 am by admin
mark’s uncle joe died this morning.
isn’t it amazing how life sometimes acts like a movie, and on the day of someone’s death the sky is gray and it’s raining and the world seems to be mourning the loss? then you snap back to reality and realize that people die on happy days, sunny days, snowy days, and everything inbetween. nature doesn’t put on a show for one individual or provide poetic justic to the death of one person, but it sure seems that way sometimes.
he died after a fairly short battle with cancer, and this death clearly has brought mark back to a dark place he was in when his aunt, and then his mother, died several years ago. i’m not really sure what to do, because i haven’t really had to deal with the death of someone that i’m close to yet. i’m not sure how to console, how to make someone feel better, how to show sympathy properly. all i know is that i want to help in whatever way i can. i’m just afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. it seems that everyone around me has gone to countless wakes, and i don’t even own something appropriate to wear to such a somber event.
all of this going on obviously has me thinking of my own mortality and the lives of those around me — wondering who will go first, who will survive, who will be taken by cancer, who will get hit by a car, and who will live to be 100. life is such a strange and delicate thing. one moment you’re talking to someone, and the next moment they’re gone.
No Tags
Permalink
11.15.03
Posted in miscellaneous stuff at 2:30 am by admin
today is a picture-perfect fall day. the sun is out, the sky is clear, it’s windy and crisp, but not bitter at all. my commute was fairly quick (mainly because it seems that lots of people wanted to stay home from work today to avoid the wind). it almost makes me forget all the crap i have to get done. i have to send in my final car payment (yay!) and take care of some tuition reimbursement stuff, and deal with a really annoying programming challenge at work. i won’t bore you with the details.
No Tags
Permalink
11.14.03
Posted in miscellaneous stuff at 3:32 am by admin
okay, now i see why michael moore has a whole chapter in his new book dude, where’s my country dedicated to referring to george bush as the self-proclaimed son of god. today on CNN i heard bush say this (to paraphrase): “it is not the will of the united states to provide freedom to the iraqis. it is the will of the Almighty to provide freedom to everyone.”
how scary is that?
No Tags
Permalink
Posted in miscellaneous stuff at 2:41 am by admin
last night i journeyed into manhattan to see glen phillips at this tiny lounge called fez. for those of you not familiar with glen, he was the front-man for toad the wet sprocket. the venue was incredible. located in the village, fez is the epitome of what you would expect from a small, warm bar/cafe in new york city. it’s practically right out of the movies. when you walk in, there is a specious cafe/dining area with a fashionably decorated bar. in fact, the whole place is amazingly fashionable. after they let us into the back area of the cafe to wait in line, we were ushered into the most beautiful bar and seating area i have ever seen. the walls were adorned with images of beautiful women with arabic writing, and the whole place was dimly lit with a red glow and candles. along the walls were big red and purple couches that looked like they may have been velour or chenille. the place was absolutely gorgeous. after giving our tickets and getting our hands stamped with the word “special”, we were allowed to go downstairs to the lounge area, which was lined with booths and long rectangular tables positioned diagonally across the center of the floor with the stage directly in front. we ran into glen multiple times thoughout the pre-concert waiting time, and my friend jen who had an empty seat next to her asked him if he wanted to sit with us, which was very amusing. he said he was just looking for someone. that would explain why he had been by so many times.
our table was located pretty close to the stage and we had a great view the whole time for the most part. right after my malibu bay breeze came, glen came out to introduce the opening act, a guy named teitur who he absolutely raved about. when teitur came out i was really impressed by his voice — it was sort of a mix between john mayer and paul simon. he had a strange accent, and as it turns out, it’s because he’s from the faroe islands which i had never heard of before. he was very gracious and happy to be in new york and made several comments about the subway trains rumbling below the lounge at certain times.
when glen finally came out and began his set, i was really amazed. i had seen him on tour with toad the wet sprocket earlier this year during their short-lived reunion tour, and that’s really when i started to fall in love with a lot of their music. as a singer/songwriter he is an incredible performer, and after every song he does this thing where he smiles and bows his head almost ashamedly and thanks the audience. he performed several toad songs, the most popular being “walk on the ocean” and “all i want” but they weren’t quite the same without the backing band, although the songs definitely still work acoustically. during the periods between songs he got a little political and i found his comments to be very refreshing. he was talking (without any hostility or loudness) about the strikes in california and how the right-wing media has suggested a “CEO week off” so that we can see how well we do without them. he suggested instead that we have a “minimum wage week off” where everyone making “shit pay” just takes the week off to see how well we do without them. it’s rare that we actually get a sense of how glen feel politically through speaking, although his cover of randy newman’s “political science” (PLEASE read the lyrics by clicking the link) gives a bit of insight into how he feels.
anyway, as i was sitting through the show i started to think to myself, self, this is what life is all about. i was sitting in a small lounge listening to a songwriter pour his heart out with an oil lamp flickering on the table in front of me, and as silly as it sounds, i realized that going to intimate concerts and seeing artists up close is an experience that adds a lot to life. why don’t i do this more often? i live only a few minutes from new york city, where live music happens every night. i think it’s because i’m always in a hurry to get things DONE. gotta do this! gotta do that! while right across the river there is a world of theatre, music, and art that i’m not seeing. i don’t think going to one concert will change that, but it’s a step i guess. if i don’t DO anything, i can see how a whole year could easily go by and 2 years later i might not even be able to remember it. wanna know why my livejournal isn’t updated often? because nothing interesting ever happens to me!
anyway, i have a dilemma. i have the opportunity to go see nickel creek in the city this sunday. i’ve developed a real fondness for them lately (especially their work with glen phillips) and i’m considering going. the problem is that i don’t want to go to a concert on a work night (which i did last night anyway). should i go? i’m open to any advice that anyone might have to offer.
also, i want to take the opportunity to introduce you guys to one of the most progressive, amazing sites that i have ever seen. the site is called the internet archive, and it features a whole collection of artists who allow their live shows to be taped and posted online for free trade. notable artists with a lot of shows are glen phillips, toad the wet sprocket, guster, bella fleck and the flecktones, rusted root, string cheese incident, and a TON of bands that i have never heard of but that probably knows. (by the way, just because i list an artist here doesn’t mean i have ever listened to their music. i just picked artists to list that i had heard of before.) anyway, this shit is cool (pardon my vulgarity) because if you happen to go to a show by a frequently-taped artist, chances are it will show up here and you’ll get to own a copy of it.
anyway, that’s my story. i know that only 2 people read my journal now ( and ) but PLEASE reply. i usually don’t give this much.
No Tags
Permalink
11.04.03
Posted in miscellaneous stuff at 7:32 am by admin
i’m fat.
let’s spare the pleasantries, shall we? it’s something that i’m becoming more and more familiar with every day as my clothing fits less and less and a simple polo shirt from old navy (not so) suddenly is as tight as a solid gold dancer’s metallic tube top.
i can’t stand it for multiple reasons. i want to be able to fit into the clothes that i want to wear and not feel like going shopping for clothing is a nightmare. i want to be able to dress how i want without having to be concerned with my ever expanding waistline.
i realize that diet (ick) and exercise are the best way to get in shape. fine. i’m getting back on the wagon doing that. but there’s one really bad situation that i don’t know how to deal with. i’m going to be seeing people over the holidays that i haven’t seen in almost a year, and i have to face the humiliation that comes along with knowing that you’re going to be showing up to see people who haven’t seen you in a long time and you look like you’ve let yourself go.
not that i really think that any of my friends at home would care even if i weighed 300 lbs. but it’s a very internal thing. and i know that i might get replies to this entry about “body image” and “liking myself” and all that crap, but the truth is that you can’t force someone to like themself. it’s a matter of doing what you need to do to be happy with yourself. and i’m not going to be one of those people who shouts from the rooftops “FAT IS OKAY!” because it simply is not. it’s unhealthy. it hurts your self-esteem and your physical health. and no matter what anyone says, when star jones and that obnoxious beast who hosts “showtime at the apollo” go home and look at themselves in the mirror naked, they probably *do* think Gee I hate myself. I’m such an obese pig. it’s a sad truth. no one who is fat is really happy. now don’t get me wrong — we all have something we want to improve. i wish i didn’t have this bump on my nose. some people with the most beautiful red hair hate it. some people want to be a little taller or have blue eyes instead of poop brown ones. some things about yourself you can’t change, but some things you can.
it’s time for a change.
i’m so fucking sick of atkins and south beach and weight watchers and trimspa all that bullshit that pollutes our lives everyday — people trying to make money off of people who have a real problem that they need to / want to fix. these things might have helped someone at some point, but they all conflict and because they all conflict most people don’t know how to make heads or tails out of any of it.
who knows what works? who cares? i know the solution. i’m going to get off of my fat chair-sitting computer-typing southwestern eggroll-eating ass and do some exercise. i was at my thinnest when i was having to ride my bike to work every day in high school. i look at those pictures and realize that my lifestyle — going out to eat all the time and sitting on my ass all day working — has caused me to be at my physical worst.
i’m not feeling sorry for myself, though. i just know that i have to do something about it. so today i’m going low-carb. (yes, i blasted the fads, including atkins, earlier) because i know that it works for me. i also bought a nordic track that is being delivered tomorrow, and i think that 45min. each day of cardio will be extremely helpful to me.
i’m going to continue posting about my progress. a few things are for certain — i will not become a bitter “i hate the world because i’m fat” person. i will be able to fit into the clothes that i want to wear. i will accept the fact that i am not one of those people with a built-in metabolic furnace and that i will have to watch this for my entire life.
anyway, if you see me when i’m home for the holidays and you think to yourself tsk tsk tsk he has really gotten fat, remember that it’s not going to be like that for long. and i have the millions of people (or more?) who read my livejournal every day to hold me to that promise.
No Tags
Permalink
11.02.03
Posted in miscellaneous stuff at 6:06 am by admin
last week i had the pleasure of determining my life insurance benefits and beneficiaries. it was really depressing knowing that i won’t be around to see anyone receive this “money”. the only thing that seems to be left of you if you die is the memories that people hang onto and the stuff that they buy with your life insurance money. what is the monetary value of a human life? i was sorting through all of this and giving 40% here and 30% there and then on my way home from work i heard “seasons of love” from the “rent” soundtrack and i realized that there are only so many ways you can measure a person’s life. the only thing that i can think of that makes a person’s life worth living is what they create, but painting or writing or composing isn’t enough because if what you create is no longer interesting to anybody it gradually dies along with the memory of your existence. it’s mind-blowing to me how many amazing people there must have been throughout history who no one remembers anymore. they have no direct surviving family members and no one knows their stories so they are forever lost. it’s depressing if i think too long about it. how can you possibly make a mark on a world that changes so fast — where things are erased and rewritten on an almost daily basis? who will care about napster or my iPod 1000 years from now? who will even know i was here? next year i think i’ll just take the default benefits and then maybe i can go back to living in a world where my own mortality seems unrealistic.
No Tags
Permalink