12.16.99
day before ryan
my roommate’s infernal snoring is driving me nuts, but still i must press on to continue another diary entry.
know what’s funny? i know who reads this stuff, and i still feel like i’m censoring myself. that’s not a good thing, so i’m gonna try my best to stop. when potential dates read your diary, that’s not always a good thing. 
well, one more final to go tomorrow morning… college algebra… and i’ll be DAMNED if i know anything about log, ln, and all that exponential bullshit. i’m sick of school.
it’s been a hard day… first, i went shopping and bought some lovely shiny pants and some stuff from structure, since they extended me a line of credit. i was at the galleria, and i kept wondering what it would be like if i ran into sean… that would have been very odd. oh well.
my mom called me today to let me know that my dad is pretty sick and he has low blood count, but he didn’t want me to know. needless to say, i’m pretty worried, but until more test results come back (from the catscan) i’m not going to jump to conclusions.
i’m in love. JUST KIDDING! i’m waiting for it to happen though, especially since winter is here and i’m cold. it’s this time of year that makes me this way… by the time that summer comes, i’ll be back to my usual cold heartless self. 
well, tomorrow (or should i say today?) is my first “date” or “meeting” or whatever you choose to call it with ryan. i really am not sure what to expect because we seem to be a lot alike in the fact that we both are dominating. that worries me a bit. i’ve been thinking, and i’m prolly gonna surprise him with wherever we go, because i find that guys like that sorta thing. i sure hope he does!
now, i’m not gonna lie here, because it’s true that i happen to have two dates this week. one is with ryan today, and one with sean tomorrow. it’s not like me to have two dates in the same YEAR, let alone the same month, and while it makes me feel kinda special, i wouldn’t be surprised if i mess up on both of the dates… i’m too darn shy. i want to be confident when i’m sober. LOL
both of these boys have very different appearances and very different personalities. the thing that i hate about myself is that i feel guilty because i feel like i owe both of them tons of attention. the truth is, i haven’t even been out with either of them yet, and i owe them NOTHING! so i’m gonna stop beating myself up over this.
we’ll be sure to hear more about tomorrow’s antics in full detail after they occur, as well as friday’s. i’m in no way the “pimp daddy” that laura and natasha have described me as… i just happen to have found the last two guys in the world who don’t yet realize what a handful i am.
well … enough. it’s time for me to sleep so i can get up in the morning when my roommate is no longer snoring and get some more studying done before i take the test.
in conclusion…
don’t eat too much bread… it will fill you up before your meal comes. then they cheat you and give you a smaller meal, but you’re more full. it’s the same way with boys… don’t let them sweet talk you too much, or you’ll get a shoddy portion later but still think you’re full.
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